|
[30 Jan 2003|04:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny |
] |
there was a girl who loved a boy
a boy was a boy that she loved
one day he took her by the hand
and led her to a field in the sun
this day seemed so romantic
this day was oh so fun
untill he decided that itd be funny if he took out a gun
she told him to put it away
and that it kind of scared her
he said baby it'll be okay
could u please scoot over?
as the girl moved, she moved n scardedness
as he wond up the trigger
she said no please ill do anything
i'll even buy you a steak dinner
he said thats not flying i want you dead
and i'm going to cut out your liver
even if it is rough and hard
i'll eat it slither by slither
before you go i want you to know
that you were the love of my life
untill you went and cheated on me
you got pregnant and stole my platnum knife
::winds up trigger:: BOOM BOOM!
|
|
|
[29 Dec 2002|12:00am] |
The sight of blood made her smile,
she never quite knew why.
She always stopped herself from laughing,
when her mother cried.
She never understood herself,
or any of the world.
Inside she was broken,
this pitiful little girl.
She says she blocked out the memories,
but it's all she pictures, all she sees.
Her mind is numb, her blood-shot eyes.
She hears them snicker when she cries.
She wants to show him her newfound being.
She told him she loves him, but he's not agreeing.
She ruined her friendships. That's why she cries.
With every unheard whisper, she dies a bit inside.
Don't ask her why she's hurting. She doesn't even know.
She wants to know why grampy hurt her, and why daddy had to go.
She sits in the bathroom, with these pills in her hand.
if she decides to give up, will they understand?
She was once against everything she has become.
She stares at these bruises and from the person they come from.
She cries, she sobs, she weeps these tears.
Life is a nightmare, it has become her worst fear.
All she ever wanted was for someone to care.
But the fear of having her heart broken, makes her scared.
She's constantly afraid of what others will do.
But this girl could be happy, like me and like you.
I beg of you, don't laugh at what you see.
For this pittiful little girl... used to be me.
|
|
|
[28 Dec 2002|11:58pm] |
Don't bother saying that you love me.
Just take me in your arms.
Just fuck me over and over again.
I know that's what you want.
You'll never say you care.
You never looked into my eyes.
I'll never want to know you.
You'll spit on my grave when I die.
The opportunity has come.
It's up to you to grab.
We both despise eachother...
but this will be the best fuck we've ever had.
I know you didn't expect this.
but the timing is just right.
I can't stand you!
But I want to fuck you like hell tonight.
|
|
|
[18 Dec 2002|09:49pm] |
He never played well with others.
he never tried his best.
But no matter how hard he tried,
he was never like the rest.
His parents never loved him.
He never got a hug.
The kids at school made fun of him.
Because he cried too much.
He thought of everything single thing,
he hated in this world.
He hated his self-image.
He never got the girl.
He sat and cried in his room.
for someone to understand.
He found a solution to his problems,
the drugs inside his hand.
He wanted to get away from this,
so he packed his bags.
he slammed the door and ran so fast,
leaving everything he had.
And after searching for the longest time,
they found Johhny today.
He was underneath the shady trees.
Dead in the alleyway.
|
|
|
[02 Dec 2002|10:31pm] |
The painted smile on my face bares the red dripping out
I look like a warrior,
that just lost the battle of her life,
with my broken shield and my useless knife.
The background is a faded blur
that hides the truth from eyes.
So you can wait for something to occur
but there will be nothing even if you tried.
The arrows soar thru the sky and land into my body.
I look like i'm dying
with my blood and cold expression
that burns with reality from the sun.
The hours pass and i'm still here.
My own suffering moment
and my integrity disappears
and is replaced with my hate and contempt
because when you fall for someone,
you're letting your guard down.
And they either help you to your place
or they burn your delicate face.
It's all a challenge
that you choose to take.
And you live or you die
but don't go without a fight
The once brown dirt soaks up all the remains I have left here.
I'm just a teenager
whose heart sank into the red mud.
But i accept it and sleep in my blood
My eyes glow but they're not alive.
My final times in this worldm
They are cut off short by my own knife
and I lie here as the fallen girl.
Because someone broke my childish shield
that I made and hoped for.
But of course there was something I had lacked
which led to your sword in my back.
It's all a tragedy,
when you collapse there
and when he walks past your body
and doesn't even care.
|
|
|
[26 Nov 2002|10:24pm] |
I turn on the light,
but you pull me down.
You stick your tongue in my mouth,
I can not make a sound.
tearing of my clothes,
me face is full of tears.
I try to struggle and escape,
but you don't fucking care.
You pin my arms back,
and continue to get what you want from me.
Why did you do this?
I feel so dirty.
Seconds pass like hours,
just laying on the couch.
Pressed up against me
with your lips upon my mouth.
Were you trying to do me a favor?
By stripping me of pride.
No one came to help me,
as I sat and cried.
I wrote out help to you.
I carved it in my arm.
but I guess you're the one who chose...
to ignore my silent alarm.
So here I sit along myself.
Blood dripping off of my bed.
But don't blame me.
Ask him why i'm dead.
|
|
|
[22 Nov 2002|10:06pm] |
You told me things would be fine.
But good things never last.
Now here come all these haunting memories.
Jumping from the past.
I guess you were wrong.
You said things would change.
I didn't like it anyway,
happiness is so strange.
I guess I'm only good at one thing,
forever it will be.
Hand in hand we're best friends.
Me and misery.
|
|
|
[22 Nov 2002|09:59pm] |
Wallowing in self pity.
Wishing I was pretty.
Hoping someone could see.
A deeper side of me.
Praying for a spark of light
to guide me through the night.
I wish I could find,
something else besides my mind.
Something that sets me apart.
Something deep within my heart.
but just like today,
self pity find a way.
Wallowing in my pain.
Wishing is in vain.
|
|
|
[20 Nov 2002|08:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Get Over It" by Ok Go |
] |
Hiding under tables,
I always begged them to stop.
Cuts and bruises covered in make-up,
could never hide the fear.
I tell myself it's over,
after she slams me into the wall.
Scars, band-aids, excuses,
I'm sick of it all.
I hate the way you smirk,
after you see this batch of my near tears.
You're done with your work,
blood and make-up smear.
There is no cast that's possile,
to heal my broken heart.
Things wouldn't be this way,
if my family wasn't broken from the start.
|
|
|
[19 Nov 2002|09:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giggly |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"America" by Santana & POD |
] |
Your eyes told me a story.
They reached out to me and begged me to listen.
They told me of your past glories,
and of old secrets,
that you still keep.
They whispered to me "love",
and pointed their finger to hate.
They showed me every star you wished on.
They showed me all of your dreams.
But it's just that lingering glace in your eyes.
They showed me everything.
They showed your world to me.
And in that tiniest of glances.
I understood you.
|
|
|
[11 Nov 2002|08:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Kill Me Quickly" by Thrice |
] |
You touch my hand, your skin so soft.
You say it's time, I have to cry.
I don't want to see you go.
You close the door, I hear it lock.
I hear your cries, your soft goodbyes.
These seconds pass by so slow.
The metal clangs, I beg you to stop.
I know you have to do this.
Why am I so selfish?
Crying for myself and the love I lost.
Gunshot. once. drop. I hear your body hit the floor.
He had to do this. He had to do this.
I repeat it to myself through my tears.
I want to hold your head, and kiss you one last time.
It's too late. Why am I still here?
I get up and walk away.
I must forget you.
I'd rather you be free.
Than to have you suffer with me.
|
|
|
[07 Nov 2002|08:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"#1 Crush" by Garbage |
] |
I let the water run down my body.
It mingles with the tears running;
and for once I don't care.
What's there is there,
I want to drown.
I let all thoughts slip my mind.
Two worlds collide.
But who cares? Soon I will be gone.
Why shouldn't I? What is there to live for?
Only the shadow that never leaves.
It haunts me, telling me it'll never go away.
I let my breath go and the water fills me.
Who is there to live for?
I thought it was him, but now I'm all alone.
Why was I so stupid?
Dreaming things impossible.
Who is there to live for?
I come out of the water soaking and wet.
My body's weak; my world is spinning.
Just like I left it, nothing has changed.
But then why did I stop?
There's something to live for.
But I just don't know.
|
|
|
[06 Nov 2002|06:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Sincerely Me" by New Found Glory |
] |
There's nothing to be afraid of.
There's nothing left to fear.
It's so unfair for me to blame you,
and say you cause my tears.
It's unfair for me to stay.
To sit here and just cry.
Throwing a pity party for myself,
as I slowly die inside.
It's unfair for you to watch me,
as I slip so far away.
So tell me that you love me,
for you might not have another day.
|
|
|
[04 Nov 2002|04:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"A Box Full Of Sharp Objects" by The Used |
] |
Memories fade away.
Words float on by.
Visions of you last forever,
burned inside my mind.
My words are set on fire;
my memories ablaze.
It takes my fear and sorrow.
Only happiness remains.
If only...
|
|
|
[31 Oct 2002|11:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"My Life" by 12 Stones |
] |
I hate this.
Seeing you everyday
feeling something about you.
Thinking its wrong.
Confused on how I should react to it
Feeling this new ambience from you
Feeling the distance from you
We need to kiss, or touch, or something.
That way I can make sense;
make sense of all the "what if's"
It's almost like torture you know,
sitting next to you,
but not being able to
telling myself I'm wrong
and naive
and immature.
But mostly just stupid
You know what might feel better,
instead of the constant drumming;
the drumming of your name and face in my head
all damn day long
How about
you pull out a knife
and STAB it right between my eyes,
but keep me alive.
Just leave me retarded
because thats how I feel
when I'm around you anyway.
|
|
|
[30 Oct 2002|06:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 artistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nothing |
] |
If I gave you my heart,
would you put it in your pocket?
Or would you rip it out and break it?
I've had too many broken hearts.
The scars are finally healing.
But I'm afraid you can pull it all apart,
with just one misplaced feeling.
So if you take it,
then remember I love you.
If you don't,
I will love you all the same.
Just remember I'm afraid.
and I'm scared of getting hurt.
Just keep this heart and keep it safe.
For I can never have yours.
|
|
|
[14 Oct 2002|05:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Say Anything" by Good Charlotte |
] |
My livejournal...
This is my "creativity" journal. Meh.
My other journal...
is here.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
bioodyvalentine's journal